


Anything You Can Do

by FreshBrains



Series: Femslash100 Drabble Tag 8 [5]
Category: Bridesmaids (2011)
Genre: Community: femslash100, Established Relationship, F/F, Humor, POV Helen, Post-Movie(s), Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 08:12:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11353431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreshBrains/pseuds/FreshBrains
Summary: In no universe will Helen Harris III lie back and be one-upped by her girlfriend.





	Anything You Can Do

**Author's Note:**

> For the LJ Femslash100 Drabble Tag 8 prompt: Annie/Helen - one-upmanship.

Helen wakes up to find the left side of the bed cold. She can smell vanilla and sugar and knows Annie is busy in the kitchen again—their Sunday morning routine.

She rolls over and smiles when she feels an ache between her legs and a twinge in her back. She’s not used to sex being so _athletic_. She would’ve never guessed someone as thin and…uninspired as Annie would put on such a show.

She reaches for her phone on the bedside table, excited to tell Lillian about their latest sexcapades, but only finds Annie’s battered cell. She supposes girlfriends share these sorts of things, so she searches for Lillian in Annie’s contacts and opens a new message. _Hey Lill, this is Helen, you’re never going to believe—_

She stops short when she sees the previous messages. An hour prior, Annie texted Lillian— _Hey Lill, I had six orgasms last night. Making cupcakes to celebrate._ Lillian responded promptly with an enthusiastic _congrats girl! Get ittttt!_

“That little _bitch_ ,” Helen gasps, and immediately sets her thumbs working with a new draft. _Hey Lill, this is Helen, I will have you know I had SEVEN orgasms, the last one was just really quiet._ She might be stretching the truth a little—six was a more accurate count with that last one on the fence—but in no universe will Helen Harris III lie back and be one-upped by her girlfriend.

No matter how delicious her macadamia orange vanilla cupcakes may be.


End file.
